How to have the most successful family photo session (especially with little kids)

Everything you need to know to make the most of a child-led photoshoot.

Picture this:

You're getting your family photos done and you've managed to get everyone ready and out the door, you are at the location with your photographer and your kids are running all around and you're trying to get them to stay still and look at the camera. The kiddos are getting fussy because they have their own ideas about what they want to do. You are getting frustrated because you are trying to keep things under control and it's not working. The kids are spending the majority of their session being told "no" and "stop that" and "come back here" and "look at the camera and smile - you need to smile." They spend the session mostly just being told what they are doing is wrong and - surprise - that's not fun for them. You on the other had are spending 90% of the session just scolding and feeling defeated at how hard it is to get them to listen to you. So of course you feel frustrated and stressed and probably a little embarrassed.

You probably get a few shots where everyone is looking and smiling - but they look pretty stiff and no one is having too much fun. And your kids' smiles are really just bared teeth.

It doesn't sound too great, huh?

Now picture THIS:

You and your whole family show up ready for an adventure, ready to go with the flow. One of your kids wants to pick flowers - great - your photographer tells them to pick the prettiest one and bring it to you. One of your kids won't stop running and jumping - your photographer says "wow, that was awesome - how high can you jump? Do you want to race your sister to see who can get to your parents faster?" Meanwhile you and your partner are holding hands watching your kids have blast and play. You are laughing at the crazy energy they are getting out. You sneak a kiss while they find a cool stick. Your photographer is capturing your children's curiosity and enthusiasm, their unique personality and traits at this moment in time, as well as your awe and love for the amazing humans you created. The kids are having so much fun they don't mind following a few prompts and suggestions here and there because they are spending most of the time getting to do what they want. You aren't feeling stressed because you are just letting things unfold and embracing the chaos.

You get your gallery back and the photos are full of movement and personality. The photos have depth. They're dynamic. Dad is in the background throwing one of your kids into the air, and your other kiddo is snuggling with you in the foreground. They convey the real mood of the session - the energy of your family - whatever it is.

Trust me when I tell you everyone has a better time in scenario number two and the photos turn out so much better on every level. The memories they hold are more meaningful because it was actually fun. Visually they are more interesting because they are real and not stiff. They really feel like you. They actually immortalize just how your kids are today - because it will be different in a year or five or ten.

I know you probably want to get that everyone looking and smiling group shot - it's normal. But those photos will not mean nearly as much to you down the road as the ones that really capture your family's unique dynamic.

Also, let's be real. It is almost impossible to get a child to give you a genuine smile on command. You will get the most authentic smiles while they are in their element, following their whims and playing.

And honestly we will have an easier time capturing that smile and look photo if we let your kids do what they want most of the time and sneak in one or two instances of asking them to look. And let's be real - that posed shot is the easiest one for you or someone you know to capture at home. Your camera roll is probably full of them already.

So, here are my tips on how to embrace this child-led approach.

1. Set the tone with your attitude going in.

   As you prepare for your session don't talk about it like it's a chore. Don't go straight into bribery mode. That tell's them it's not going to be any fun. Tell them it's going to be a fun adventure where you guys will explore and play. Hype it up. Sure you can tell them they'll get ice cream after but don't make it seem like something they just have to get through - the ice cream (or whatever treat) is just the cherry on top.

   
   

2. Keep an open mind and don't focus too much on what you think the session will look like.

   You may want that playful, carefree session full of energy but your kids end up being super shy and just want to cling to you. But that's okay - we will get the sweetest cuddly shots and will capture that bond and your special ability to make them feel safe. Or you might be envisioning those sweet, simple photos but your kids don't want to kiss or snuggle or hold hands - but hey - we will capture the way they play and interact and that boundless energy. We can make magic with whatever they bring to the table. Just go with the flow.

   
   

3. If you hear yourself saying "look at the camera" or "smile" - stop.

   Your photographer's job is to find the magic in the moments they are presented with - as they are. So let them do just that. If you are holding your toddler and they don't want to face the camera - I'll get a close up of your hand cradling their back, I'll sneak around the back of you and capture their sweet face resting on your shoulder. If everyone else is all cuddled up and looking picture perfect expect one of your kids who is running around you guys - let them. I'll capture them wizzing by in the foreground. Chances are while one moment feels like it's unraveling, another is unfolding perfectly. Too often I could have gotten the most gorgeous photo of some play or interaction or genuine moment but in the frame mom or dad is busy trying to tell someone to stop or come here. My harsh truth is that if you spend all of your time not enjoying the moment because you can't stop trying to control it, you'll actually be the one "spoiling the photos". Let the candid moments happen.

   
   

4. Think about how you can guide them in ways that lean into what they are interested in doing.

   If they keep running off, have everyone follow and tell them they get to lead the adventure. If they want to be held the whole time sing their favorite song together or name all the colors in the sky as you watch the sun set.

   
   

5. You know them best.

   Do they have a secret handshake? Is there an inside joke you can bring up that will make everyone laugh? Do they like to have cartwheel contests? Do they love looking for bugs in the yard at home? What do you know about them that you can suggest to keep things fun and genuine for YOUR family?

   
   

6. Don't worry that your photographer will be judging your family or your kids for "not cooperating".

   Any professional family photographer knows how kids are, and is not expecting your children to sit still or follow every direction. Your photographer should have plenty of experience with wild or shy kids and they know not just how to deal with it, but how to embrace it. So please do NOT be embarrassed.